...CauGhT WiTH THe MEat InYOur MoUth... [entries|friends|calendar] A stain upon society [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

5/18/2008 [18 May 2008|06:11pm] Well i havent written on here for a long time... Whats better way to start than saying my life is fucking great right now! OrAnGe PlaStic GunS KIll

back [08 Nov 2007|01:09pm] [ mood | accomplished ] [ music | dwight twilley- out of my hands ] havent updated in a while.... well a little synopsis of my life.... met a guy to years ago ...OCT 8 2005.... seven months passed met him again...MAY 6 2006....talked for about a month... we both dug each other.... got together.... JUNE 8 2006.... was happily together for a year.... moved in together towards the end of April 2007... we was happy living together loved each ..and then problems arose cause by his family couldnt take it... move out about to months ago... Sep 24 2007.... was five months pregnant with hi s child and had a misscarriage OCT 2 2007.... we was still trying to work things out and we broke up three weeks ago.... we are still very close and love each other dearly.... its one of those situations where you love someone so mucha nd want to sped the rest of your life with but its not possible for numerous reasons.... Today would have been our 1 year and 5 month anniversary... and in his head it still is ... he came over this morning whil ei was asleep  with flowers nad gummie bears and this wonderful diamond ring... not an engagement ring but his promise that we will overcome everything and i will be his wife... damn... dont know what to do really....something in me just cant let me be in a relationship with him... but i love him. as for everything else im suppose to be in my second year of college ...supoose to be cuz i tok the semester  off with everything happening it was sressing me out... im majoring in Architecture and almost done.... i work at a vintage store in hollywood ....been there for 1 year and 3 months.... hmmm my friends are here and there.....so i spend a lot of time by myself... my life has been a rollercoaster ..... and im not complaining... OrAnGe PlaStic GunS KIll

lalalala.....cathy's world [18 Sep 2005|08:44am] [ mood | snakes scare me!yet i love 'em ] [ music | duran duran- union of the snake.... ] i need of of those little yellow pills! haha im gay...well not literally but yeah....i love this one thing....wellive always loved it but i still do... yeah and you know wat i hate people that want to know everythign you do or who hang out with....yeah....damn bitches thats my business.... Love....Love will tear us apart again!.... haha all in the celebration of the division of joy.... depressed children depress me and thats whyim depressed cuz their depressed and im empathetic like that so if their happy im happy if their sad im sad if they like me i hate them haha bitches.... I LOVE YOU DAVE! thats somewhere out there in the world! OrAnGe PlaStic GunS KIll

fawk yeah! [17 Sep 2005|08:53am] [ mood | haha fawk yeah! ] [ music | the doors-soul kitchen ] you know wats awesome?...well do you? i dont think so.... well wats awesome is that the ex-viscofits..now whoreables....wrote a song about ME!.... its called..... SHE's A PoGo MacHine! well it cuz sometimes i rule.... OrAnGe PlaStic GunS KIll

haha [14 Sep 2005|08:32am] [ mood | confused ] [ music | David Bowie-space oddity ] 1 ______DEad|OrAnGe PlaStic GunS KIll

Can i touch Your Huha! [22 Aug 2005|03:20pm] [ mood | ditzy ] [ music | Queen-Fat Bottom Girls ] Haha well today was a better day....i found myself wanting to hit people just for the thrill....well i always do actually...thats wat i live for! Im bored right now...right at this very moment..... oh yeah and im also CPR certified so anyone can pass out and i can bring you back...haha no real...i got certified 1 year for Adult, Child, and Infant CPR and 3 years for Community Safety...haha im lame but its cool.... yeah i need to like do something quick....yeah im like already making plans for this weekend....and my MO is suppose to call me later so we can see wat the hell we can do tonite to entertain each other.... i saw this really hot guy at office depot...his name was kevin...and he was extremely tall...but hot...a little too shy for my liking but hot...ha...  i need to dye my hair!   OrAnGe PlaStic GunS KIll

1 2 3 Go! [21 Aug 2005|08:59am] [ mood | disappointed ] [ music | the monkees- i wanna be free ] hey hello again hello.....this is the end..... there are no new beginning any longer....this is the final toll....this is the end....my only friend is my self if not even that.... this last thursday was my first day of school as a lame senior....it seems like my years have drifted by and i never really had a chance to embrace them adn take control of things...the past five years of my life have been the hardest years ive ever had to face and im still facing them......my closest friends know wat they are....things i did and situations i up myself into that im ashamed to talk about or even think about....i have really try to turn my life around start all over...ive been going to skool all summer and well i actually did something for once and this year im not going to let it get away either....i figured that i need to become something out of  myself but its really hard when you dont have someone to be right behind on things..supporting you. i feel so alone. going back to skool to all this people and friends...made me sick....you would think i would be happy...i was at first but then i felt no more bond between any of us...and it hurt...i hurt! im so confused about everything...i hate being such a downer about everything but there's nothing to be happy or looking forward about there really isnt.... i love the "D" word.... but i have to face it theres nothing more i can do to get him..... ive done nothing at all.....i just sit around and write little jiggles and songs about animals dying that all....   2 ______DEad|OrAnGe PlaStic GunS KIll

I LIKE POO! [31 Jul 2005|10:15am] [ mood | ditzy ] [ music | frank sinatra- the coffee song ] Those who know me well and well those that i might have just met know that I LOVE POOP! psychotic some may think but NO! its just a little ackward.... and i like coffee and they've got an awful lotta coffee in brazil.....MMM frank sinatra his hottness well at least he was until he tipped over and died...i would so fuck him in his dead state another thing people find ackward....yes im talking about nothing cuz yeah i get like this when i havent slept in days....not tired just a little loopy... oh and guess what/...! IM OVER IT!!!  YEs i Am ! blah ! On last thrusday i went to this on concert down at the skirball cultural center and i saw some lady MARIA DEL MAR BONET yeah i didnt understand anything since it was in an other language but it was cool i guess i love foreigners ...love them .....and i love people that can pretend to be foreigners hmm the end...   OrAnGe PlaStic GunS KIll

[27 Jul 2005|09:39am] [ mood | awake ] [ music | SCAMP- Free Speech For The Dumb ] Yeah ...i Hate Nothing more than stupid people that dedicate songs to other people....and its even more annoying when your at a show and then the singer is all like "this next song goes out to..." or " i would like to dedicate this song to" or when the try to to explain the song "this next song is about .....blah blah blah" reality is who cares...im here to listen and try enjoy   the music and occasionally beat the shit outta some people...not to get a lecture on your damn song that isnt even all that fucking good....good jebus....and who the hell is susan...yeah ... like i care that the song reminds you of some random person...is it me no so fuck you!....   yeah haha thats basically my complaint!!! OrAnGe PlaStic GunS KIll

[24 Jul 2005|06:53pm] [ mood | bitchy ] [ music | talking heads-uh oh, love comes to town ] Call Me "Cathy Never Gonna Be Good Enough ." OrAnGe PlaStic GunS KIll

arghhh! [23 Jul 2005|10:31pm] [ mood | confused ] [ music | lurkers- im on heat ] Love:a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection; to have strong liking for; love affair... amor,amour,liebe,amore.... no matter wat language it all means the same...but sometimes it takes a few people if not one person to change the meaning completely....Love and it revised meaning: betrayal, deceit, heartbreak, loneliness, depression, chocolate pudding puddles, dead manimals...love to me means all that now...the word love means nothing now nothing at all....its just a word...a hate it...people throw it around like some stupid game...well its not...yeah i tell my freinds i love them all the time...i love you lely...i love you nessy...i love you spiff...i love you criminal... i probably say i love you to people a hundred times a day...but i and they know theres a difference...between the love i have for them and the love i feel for him...well him mr. no name...spits it out the every other chik like a piece of gum...and i guess that picec of gum has not left my shoe...and i hate it...   Thanx a lot to idiots!   oh yeah by the way...i hate AUTOMATIC FLUSHING TOILETS! and i miss some people like mr. woodstick and d-val... YES! ms. sindee sugar hole misses you guys! I LOVE YOU GUYS!!! OrAnGe PlaStic GunS KIll

sigh..... [15 Jun 2005|10:25am] [ mood | exhausted ] [ music | Lou Reed- Kill Your Sons ] NOTHING!!!  8-( OrAnGe PlaStic GunS KIll

blah blah! blah! [14 Jun 2005|12:21pm] [ mood | anxious ] [ music | KOMINTERN SECT-Dernier combat ] I Don't Know What To DO! EVERYTHING IS SO CONFUSING!!!! Damn it! I NEED ANSWERS...I DONT KNOW WHATS GOING ON ANYMORE.... YES OR NO....ME OR HER....LYNWOOD OR SAN FRANCISCO...CERRITOS COLLEGE OR LONG BEACH COLLEGE...DO I EVEN GO OR NOT...MY PHONES BEING RINGIG FOR THE PAST HOUR....DO I ANSWER IT...? I DON'T KNOW.... OrAnGe PlaStic GunS KIll

ARGH!!! [13 Jun 2005|04:29pm] [ mood | distressed ] [ music | richard hell &the voidoids-all the way ] LOVE IS A GAME....AND I'VE LOST FOR THE ZILLIONTH TIME!!! OrAnGe PlaStic GunS KIll

ha [13 Jun 2005|01:13pm] [ mood | bouncy ] [ music | We Vibrate-The Vibrators ] Loving me with my shoes off means loving my long brown legs, sweet dears, as good as spoons; and my feet, those two children let out to play naked... Long brown legs and long brown toes. Further up, my darling, the woman is calling her secrets, little houses, little tongues that tell you...                   -Anne Sexton   I' ve been hit with a fevour of devotion for nothing...i woke up this morning with a devotion for something...i have no idea wat though....its been haunting me all day long... i need to take a shower...hmmm..i need to do something...there's no one home...no one's ever home..i live in solitued....i sit here in my room...and stare at the loneliness of nothing...and i think...i think oh a lot of things...i think when...are things gonna start looking up for me...when will i have to stop pretending not to care...when the hell am i gonna be fed shit....i hungry i havent ate for ever....today is my dad's birthday his leaves to work really early and it makes so much of a difference...today i got up right before him and waited for him... i felt the need just to talk to him...so much is bothering me...he's the only one that will ever understand...we grown so distant and it sux...but today we did our mending...and its all better...today my dad cried with me...that means the world to me... i wanna get away..iowa here i come.... last night well this morning around 1:03am i found that im still very much hurting... pain...pain..go away! OrAnGe PlaStic GunS KIll

ha.... [12 Jun 2005|01:12pm] [ mood | bored ] [ music | the voices in my head ] im BOred!!!! OrAnGe PlaStic GunS KIll

YEs!!!! [12 Jun 2005|10:48am] [ mood | blah ] [ music | Anti Pasti- One Friday Night ] YEs!!! i think ive accomplished...it im over dave now well somewhat but we's got to be strong biatch..haha yeah me and bacon made a P.I.T.A. pact that we both had to move on...to better greater things...hmmm..how thats gonna happen idont know...shit i wish there was a hot guy store ....ha. yes well yesterday i didnt do much and today....nothing i guess...what to do all next weekend hmm i dont know...im leaving to san diego on friday i think...yeah i am.... im eating sour patch kids right now.. and saving all the red ones for robert...like always ha... but thats the leats i can give him in the count that he's such a doll and im a bitch to him ha....im a bitch to everyone but its just love...ha Im Looking For A CHeap ThriLL!!!     OrAnGe PlaStic GunS KIll

[11 Jun 2005|09:08pm] [ mood | depressed ] [ music | my hurting broken heart ] IT HURTS INSIDE SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!! OrAnGe PlaStic GunS KIll

bORING! [11 Jun 2005|06:42pm] [ mood | bored ] [ music | Defects--Head on collision ] Today is saturday....it's 6:42pm and im home! Wat The fuck....well i was out and about.. and then it got boring..now im looking for something new to do...well yeah theres this guy my friend is trying to hook me up with..cuz she says i got move on..and im trying too.. so i say what the hell...GO FOR IT! yeah i met him today.. damn his hot he really is... his name is Alex... [like i don't know enough Alex's..really] ha well he's hot and he's like a male version of me...but so are half the guys i meet i attract freaks...and i like it! ha yeah...well anyways getting back to Alex... i just didnt feel anything for him... my amiga jasmine says its only a matter of time... but truthfully... i dont feel ready to fall for someone else... specially when i havent forgot the other one... yeah remember names arent important [dave] haha yeah... damn i thought i said names weren't important.. ahh well im also skitzooooo...and i love it! i always have someone to talk too....oh man my criminal has left me i still can't get over that.. i love her...almost as much i as i love -------------...haha..... yes... i have to stalk her somehow... haha yes well ima go and talk to myself for a bit....   I found my ex-ex-boyfriends crotch[remember jorge] haha OrAnGe PlaStic GunS KIll

ahhhhhhhhhhh! [10 Jun 2005|09:09pm] [ mood | crappy ] [ music | frank sinatra- the summer wind ] Ahhh!!! i have updated as usual... well you a heads up on my life! well i have to go to school all this summer to make up credits for like a zillion classes...its been an emotional roller coasters for me lately.... im  in love wiht this guy [dave] but i dont know...it hurts loving him...it does... he says he "loves" me but he loves this other girl...  i knw it he knows it....it all a fine world.... so im trying my hardest to get him outta my mind... yes i am... and well i think i might be developing a crush on this other guy...well i hope.. maybe that way i can get dave outta my head...... yes this love thing sux.... who needs a significant other ...NOT ME!!! okay im lying but its better to have no one than to have someone that does nothing but lie to you....ahhh!!! the sadness.... well as for my social life...yeah i remeber i used to write about all my trips to san francisco... i havent had any of those... i was suppose to go on the 27 of may but i didnt...yeah well the reason  i didnt go was kinda dumb and i regret not going cuz then i went to sacramento and it was sooo boring and the people i went with got on my nerves and i was gonna sock them all...but i shall go pretty soon..maybe i find me a hot bastard there!!! ha... ha well i also had broked on left arm last month it was really sad...cuz i was suppose to drum for my viscofit cunts and i broked my arm and then we got dougie form T.W. to fill in for me.... i wanted to play so badly... i live to play....well the drums and the bed of course....well i havent really done much cuz all my friends are either moving away distant places or dying.... so i just stay home and listen to music and dance the night away...but its not that bad... its actually quite exciting...me... music... dancing... YES!!! ha and i havent really slept for a while i usually sleep during the day most of the time i just lay in my bed and stare at the dark ceiling the wjole night and sometimes when dave calls me {sometimes..being the operative word] calls i talk to him... and those are my best nights.. but that doesnt happen often well my fingers hurt now.. and i have a lot more to say..but ill continue later.... OrAnGe PlaStic GunS KIll

navigation [ viewing | most recent entries ] [ go | earlier ]